"Caller reported a large hairy male was screaming and grabbing at a woman in an effort to get her to accompany him from the hotel. Officers responded and found a drunken couple in a dispute about whether or not the woman was allowed to buy a potted plant."This one is for all of you cynical, non-believers. Bigfoot does exist! He has camouflaged himself as a cheap, overbearing husband with an aversion to petunias. Our first scoop – beat that Geraldo!
Beaver Dam, WI
"A man reported on Friday at 8:20am that his vehicle was struck with eggs and cheese slices were thrown at his home on Elm Street."A simple roll of Charmin isn’t enough in America’s Dairyland. “We Kraft Singled that bitch!”
Portsmouth, NH
"8:58 a.m. An officer took photos of people in line for the release of a new beer at a downtown pub."Just because I dressed up as my favorite beer cozy and camped out in my Miller Lite tent for 12 hours for the midnight release of a beer, doesn't give you the right to profile, officer.
Chattanooga, TN
20 years later and stealing his dad’s car to cruise around Chicago just isn’t enough to console Cameron’s daddy issues anymore. Bueller? Bueller?"A man reported the theft of his father's car - an expensive silver BMWZ3 roadster - from downtown.
He said he had parked it at the 800 block of Cherry Street and it was no longer there.
Officers soon spotted it at the 400 block of Walnut Street.
The man said he "must have had a bit more to drink" than he thought he had and he said he "was a moron for not checking and for freaking out and calling police."
An officer said he agreed he was a moron and advised him to "have a dd (designated driver) next time rather than losing a $50,000 piece of equipment."
Chadron, NE
"10:55 a.m. - RP advised she was walking her dog near the Burkheiser Building when two big black dogs came up behind her and scared her."Um…..boo?
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